Magic word “Shelter”

For two months I have lived outside of the shelter in my first own apartment. I am very happy now, with a sense of life and security, now I know that I am not alone, because there are women’s organizations in Canada such as Women’s Crisis Services of Waterloo Region to provide help for women like me, women who have experienced domestic violence, physical and mental abuse.

With the time at the end of the day I understand that call for help to these organizations, it was a very good and smart decision in my situation.  It was there that I have gotten help and it opened for me the doors to a dignified life.

This decision was not easy, I had a lot of fears and anxieties associated with putting my fate in the hands of people unknown to me and this Magic word Shelter.

I am an immigrant woman who came to Canada three years ago, to be with the man I loved and with whom I wanted to spend the rest of my life. Unfortunately I quickly realized that I am for my husband a thing he can rearrange when he wants to, not accounting of my feelings and opinion.

“Prince Charming…Prince Harming.”

Not having my family in Canada, I was dependent on my husband. He used it against me by refusing to help me with anything. Not having access to anything (school, friends, family money), I started to fall into more and more of a depression.

Meanwhile, my husband’s aggression got worse.

I had to choose between, surrendering or to fight for my dignity and the right to a normal life, I chose the latter.

After another fight in our home, my only choice was to call the police. From them I learned where to go and ask for help.

I called the crisis line, and a worker after listening to me offered help.

Since then, WCSWR outreach worker met with me, helping me to get back to a normal, decent life.

This woman (employee WCSWR) turned out to be very competent, full of warmth and had a great heart. Today I know that thanks to this person my life is back on the right track.

She was a great support. I think that it was largely due to her. I owe who I am now and how I live.

I finally understood the word written below and that; after all, I am a grown woman.

“Grown Women v. Grown Men
Boy want to control the Women in the life.
Grown Men knows that if she is truly his, he doesn’t need controlling her.
Boy yells at you for not calling them.
Grown Men are too busy to realize you hadn’t.
Girls are afraid to be alone.
Grown Women revel in it…using it as a time for personal growth.
Girls ignore the good guys.
Grown Women ignore the bad guys.
Boys force you to stay at home.
Grown Men help you want to stay at home.
Girls leave their schedule wide-open and wait for a man to call and make plans.
Grown Women make their own plans and nicely tell the man to get in where he fits.
Girls worry about not being pretty and/or good enough for their man.
Grown Women know that they are pretty and/or good enough for any man.
Boys try to monopolize all the woman’s time (i.e., don’t want her hanging with her friends).
Grown Men realize that a lit’ bit of space makes the together time even more special and goes out with him own friends.
Boys think a women crying is weak.
Grown Men offer their shoulder and a tissue and respect that they did.
Girls want to be spoiled and ‘tell’ their man so.
Grown women ‘show’ him and make him comfortable enough to reciprocate without fear of losing his manhood.
Girls get hurt by one man and make all men pay for it.
Grown women know that was just one man.
Girls fall in love and chase aimlessly after the object of their affection, ignoring all signs.
Grown women know that sometimes the one’s you love don’t always love you back-and move on, without bitterness.
Girls and Boys will read this and get an attitude.
Grown Women and Grown Man will read this and pass it on to other grown women and man”

By my friend to all Grown Women and Grown Man.

With all my heart – thank you JA.

For the sake of my safety I was offered transfer from family house to Anselma House.  I was afraid, not knowing this place or the people there, but I was not having choice, because my house was no longer a safe place to live.

Today I laugh with my concerns, since shelter after what I went through was a paradise.

It is in shelter for the first time in many months I felt safe and slept through the night peacefully.

With the support I felt safe and that is why I think that shelter is the place where every woman feels safe.

The time spent in shelter for me was the time to think about my future.  These were the plans I was working hard on to become an independent person as soon as possible in order to return to a normal life.

Now is the time to take my life into my own hands and not to squander the aid I receive, as well as the efforts of the people who helped me a lot.

With great appreciation for your work, thank you very much for your heart and the help I received from shelter workers in Kitchener and Cambridge.

M.Z

And this below is for all of you as you work there and for those so that your work and help make to be possible.

Friends are flowers