Characteristics of Abusers

•    80% were abused as children or saw their mothers abused.
•    Blame partners for their abusive behaviour.
•    Place enormous expectations on partners to feel good about themselves.
•    Are very jealous and possessive of partners.
•    Tend not to trust other people, and therefore tend not to share inner world with others.
•    Have limited or no social network; partner is closest person he knows.
•    Highly emotionally dependent on partner; subject to depression known only to family.
•    Tend to express all negative feelings as anger.
•    Have low self-esteem.
•    Get needs met by control, such as violence and threats.
•    May threaten suicide if partner leaves.
•    Come from all levels; all educational levels; all racial, age and ethnic groups.
•    Can be very pleasant outside of the home and very unkind at home.
•    Frequently demanding and assaultive in sexual behaviour.
•    Hold very traditional, stereotyped views of male-female roles and relationships.
•    Lack sympathy for partner's physical and emotional pain.
•    Tend to minimize and deny the abuse.